Today as I drink my morning coffee I think once again about
myself. There has been a lot of self-reflection lately. This morning’s thoughts
are about my intelligence. I’ve never thought I was very smart, in fact most of
my life I thought I was downright stupid. Not because I was told that, just because
that’s how I felt. I was average in school, but I struggled. I had a hard time concentrating
on what my teacher’s said and an even harder time during tests. I found I could
only concentrate for no more than 20 minutes or so during a test. This is why I felt
stupid. I presumed that because I just wasn’t smart enough to concentrate like
other people did, or like I was supposed too.
It wasn’t until a couple of years ago when doing research on ADHD did I realize that I very likely had trouble in school and in work because I had this condition. What, You say? Isn't ADHD some kids have? Isn’t ADHD those kids in school who are bouncing off the walls? Yes it is, but it’s also a lot of other things! So to explain these other things first I need to explain what ADHD is exactly. So simply ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. So the kids who were bouncing off the walls in school that’s the hyperactivity part of the disorder. But there are so many other elements to it. Here is what wedmd has to say about ADHD Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) affects children and teens and can continue into adulthood. ADHD is the most commonly diagnosed mental disorder of children. Children with ADHD may be hyperactive and unable control their impulses. Or they may have trouble paying attention. These behaviors interfere with school and home life. It’s more common in boys than in girls. It’s usually discovered during the early school years, when a child begins to have problems paying attention. Adults with ADHD may have trouble managing time, being organized, setting goals, and holding down a job. They may also have problems with relationships, self-esteem, and addiction. Reference Link
So the most common symptom of ADHD is the hyperactivity, those are the kids in school who couldn’t sit still and were bouncing off the walls. Those are the kids most likely to get diagnosed. The second most common symptom is Inattention. This means a child is easily distracted, can’t follow directions or makes mistakes, lose things and tends to daydream, just to name a few. The next symptom is impulsivity, which means a child has trouble waiting for his or her turn, interrupts or blurts things out. Now this simply is the most common symptoms and usually this shows up in boys. Girls with ADHD display their symptoms much differently.
20 Possible Signs of ADHD in Girls
- Difficulty maintaining focus, easily distracted
- Shifting focus from one activity to another difficult one
- Disorganized and messy (in her appearance and physical space)
- Forgetful
- Problems completing tasks
- Daydreaming and in a world of her own
- Takes time to process information and directions (It may even appear that she doesn't hear you)
- Looks to be making "careless" mistakes
- Often late (poor time management)
- Hyper-talkative (Always has lots to say but is not good at listening)
- Hyperactivity
- Verbally impulsive; blurts out and interrupts others
- Seems to get easily upset
- Highly sensitive to noise, fabrics, and emotions
- Doesn’t seem motivated
- Doesn’t appear to be trying
- Seems shy
- Appears withdrawn
- Cries easily
- Might often slam her doors shut (Reference Link) I feel that added to this list should be feeling of inadequacy and self doubt
So as I read this list I
think about how I was in school. Many of these items apply to me then and now
still. So what does this mean? Well first of all it means I’m not actually as
dumb as I thought. It also means that I may have to change try different things
in order to accomplish what a ‘normal’ person can do. I read a great article
about how to cope with ADHD, the article was called secrets of your ADHD brain. Reference Link In the article she explains that in her research she discovered that people
with ADHD have a unique and special creation that regulates attention and
emotions in different ways than the nervous system in those with the condition.
She explains that because of this people with ADHD need to figure out what does
motivate them and then try and apply it to the areas of their lives that are
lacking motivation. For me I’m motivated by what I feel is required of me. So I
only clean my house when company comes over because I think that’s what they
expect. In a job situation I’m motivated by a boss who appreciates my job and
lets me know. I’m also motivated by a job that is activates my brain. She also
said that people with ADHD have been found to have a higher IQ on average. So
that led me to look for an IQ test. Like I said before in school I thought I
was stupid, now that I know that’s not the case, I was curious what my IQ was
actually. So that led me to find a short IQ test to see where I actually fall.
I couldn’t believe my results. According to this test I took I have an IQ of
124, which means I’m gifted. This was a huge shock. I don’t feel smart still,
but maybe that’s the self-doubt of having to deal with ADHD most of my life has
instilled in my brain. Free IQ Test
I have learned more about myself in my 32 year of life then in all the other 31 years combined. It’s crazy what a little research will find, and when you think you’re just broken actually might be that there’s a medical reason for all of it.
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