Red zone reaction!

What’s your anxiety red zone? First let’s define a red zone. It’s what you do when you are panicking. There are 3 different types of zones. First is the green zone, that when everything is normal and all is well. Second is yellow, that’s when things aren’t quite as normal and you are starting to feel uncomfortable. Third is red, and that’s when things are out of control and you no longer are ok!

Now just like zones there are 3 different types of response to a red zone situation. First is flight, pretty much which means you run away from the situation. Second is fight, which means you start there and face the situation and fight whatever the situation is. This might be physical or verbal fighting. The third type of red zone reaction is freeze, this means your body goes into shut down mode. For some people that can mean literally freezing, so they can’t respond or move, for other’s it can mean they become passive and compliment even though they aren’t ok with the situation around them.

Now for myself I am a flight person. When I’m in a situation where I’m in my red zone, the only thing I can think about it running away, far, far away. When I was little and I would get into a fight with my parents I would run out into the field and I had a special spot where I would sit and think and eventually calm down. I think the reason I run is because during times of red zone I can’t think clearly my brain is all jumbled up and I need to get away. I need to be somewhere where I am alone and it is quiet. This was also the situation when my husband and I were first married. When we would argue or disagree I would need to leave. Now since I no longer lived on my childhood farm, I couldn’t go and think in my usual spot, but I found going to a walk had the same effect. It wouldn’t take long and my thoughts would become clearer and my judgement would become more logical. Now as a productive adult I know I can’t run away from all situations that I don’t like, so I’ve learned to adjust. But inside I still want to run! As I get older I also find that I'm in unpredictable situations less and less so I don't often get into a red zone situation. 

Now for my children now of them have got the flight instinct like I do. My older two are fighters. When they hit there red zone they yell scream and fight! My oldest daughter is physical fighter, when she hits her red zone area she wants to hurt whatever is making her uncomfortable in the current situation. My second daughter is more of an emotional fighter she’s going to cry and yell at the situation rather than try and hit you.

My youngest daughter is a freezer. Her red zone is the easiest to deal with because she just becomes this compliant, well behaved, quiet girl. But recently we were in a situation I could tell she was scared, but since she is just so compliant when she’s in her red zone, when I asked if it was ok for me to leave she replied yes and then I left. Later that day I was thinking about her reaction and was wondering if maybe it’s not healthy to ignore her emotions just because she’s not forcing you to deal with them because she’s so quiet. So the next day we had the same situation, but when she replied that she was ok, I asked her again and on the second questioning she started to cry and said no. So we talked about it a bit and I stayed with her until she was comfortable enough for me to leave.

What’s your default red zone? How do you deal with your children with their red zone response?