Say A Prayer For me Tonight!

I can’t sleep tonight. I have so many things running through my head. So many things these days seem out of my control. So if you know me at all you know that I don’t like it when there are things that I can’t control. Generally I have figured out a way to control most things in my life. But every once in a while there’s things I can’t, and right now there’s a lot which means I don’t sleep.

What you ask is keeping me awake these days. Well my kids mostly. Getting back into the school routine has been hard on everyone, myself included. I want to make life easier for my kids, but I can’t. They need to learn how to be a part of the world on their own. My oldest daughter had a really hard day last week, to the point where she was crying and I wanted to just take her in my arms and tell that I could make it all better, but I couldn’t! My middle daughter is back at square one! We had come so far last year, but the summer undid all that and now when she get’s home from school, she’s a wreck! There’s also a bug unknown in our future and as much as I like to control things, I also don’t like the unknown. I know in God’s will it will all work out and his timing is always right, but waiting is hard. Also not knowing how long we are going to be waiting is even harder. My kids ask me questions everyday about the unknown in our future and I want to be able to settle their uncertainties but I can’t. All I can say is that it will happen someday.

So despite that fact that I was so excaused earlier that I couldn’t wait to get into bed tonight, I now sit here typing instead of sleeping because I don’t have control. I also know that God knows my future and he will take care of me and my family and this is something that I need to give to him, but my sinful nature wants to hold onto these fears. My sinful nature doesn’t want to let me let it go!

So tonight I ask for your prayers, to help me be strong in the ways that I am weak. I pray that God will help calm my brain so I can sleep, because without sleep tonight I won’t be able to get through tomorrow. So for all these things I ask in HI

Getting back into shape!

I can’t believe its September already. Today was the girls third day back in school. So far they are both doing well. Today also marked the third day that I started working out again. Back in January of this year I started a workout routine using the Fitstar app. It was going really well too, for a while. Then in April we went on a 3 week vacation. I felt so good, I had been working out 4 or 5 times a week for 3 months. I was in better shape than I had been in since the birth of my youngest daughter over 4 years before. I was determined despite having to take a break for the trip that I would get back to it when we got back. I tried, I really did, but it didn’t work and then summer came and everything went out the window. I tried to stay active, walking or biking at least 3 times a week, but that wasn’t enough. I also enjoyed more snacks during the summer.

Well I decided that once the girls were back in school I no longer had an excuse to not work out, so Tuesday after the girls were dropped off I got back to it. Man, it was hard! I’ve lost so much of what I had gained. My body feels old and weak again. It makes me so upset that I let it happen, but now that I realize the difference I feel even more motivated to get it back. I still haven’t been able to overcome a pre-pregnancy weight and I really want to say that I have accomplished that.

So today is day 3!  When I woke up this morning I was tired, my body isn’t used to getting up at 7 anymore. Even after my coffee I still felt tired, which meant I didn’t want to work out at all let alone do one of my most hated workouts. But about half way through my workout I realized that I wasn’t as tired as when I started. Yes I was out of breath and my muscles were hurting, but my brain felt less fuzzy and my eyes weren't as heavy feeling.  So why was today’s work out one of my most hated, you ask, well that’s because it involved a lot of cardio. Now I have too much fat on my body, and it all jiggles when I do any type of cardio which isn’t a great feeling, but on top of carrying more weight then I should I also have mild asthma, which is exasperated by the extra weight I carry. So cardio is hard. I can’t run because after only a minute or two I have to stop, because I can’t breathe. Well I did a cardio heavy work out today. It was hard! I had to stop midway through many times to catch my breath, but I finished it!

Today feels like a win! Tomorrow I will go again. I’m hoping that my body quickly remembers what it’s like to work out every day and I start to see results in the next couple of weeks, but we will see. I’m determined to not only get into better shape and better health but to also lose some inches and pounds that have found me this summer.

I would love to hear from my readers what you do to stay active?